A trying day

Monday ….  Yes it was Monday all day. I am not sure where that saying came from, but it just sounds … Like …. A day worth forgetting.

The beginning of the week should bring hope and promise. Today was gloomy, raining, and so irritating.

So, I HOPE Tuesday is a better start.

Learning about Me

My days of need are still with me. I, at times, feel overwhelmed and without merit. Then I remember that  I am good at what I do and I am worthy of being.  So goes the battles …. mental and physical. I will win the War, but for today I look forward to conquering the doubts…….

This is a statement I made 2 months ago. Why is that important? It is important because I am still fighting the same demons. The same feelings are overwhelming me on a daily basis and I am beginning to wonder if I am making my own drama. Am I willing the angst? Am I willing the discord I am putting myself through?

I am having a hard time with my focus and energy. I seem to be in another space on a regular basis. I am angry that I am a virtual invalid or so I feel like. I am not a good patient. I do not like taking meds. I do not like one day being able to walk and the next day not. SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE TO THE POSITIVE SIDE!!!!!!

End of year Thoughts

I am trying to put some people on my birthday Calendar. Apparently it is not as easy as I feel it should be.

This year has had many ups and downs. Thank the powers that be; more up than down. I have tried to keep a positive attitude and keep my moods from swinging too much, but my physical problems have contributed to my irritable times. I hurt most days and while I know some of it is my weight and other ailments; some I am going to have to “bite the bullet” and go see specialists. First will be someone to take a look at my left ankle. It is ouchie most of the time.

I want to be the positive person I used to be, but I am miserable. I am so in awe of my cousin Judy. She has been through battles and keeps on moving through with a smile and a hug if ya get close enough. What a warrior! She is truly a sweet soul.

I have had a wonderful year at work! Preferred Technologies, Inc is a saving grace for me. I am honored to be working for this company!

As I sit here I am staring down an unopened package containing a lovely looking piece of Divinity. It is staring back….. daring me to open the package….. daring me to take just a taste….. just one sweet coma inducing taste. I declare! I win! It goes back to the conference table!

I am back….. yes I took it back to the table…… it took every fiber of control not to fling it from me….. but I prevailed ….. this Battle is mine!

I digressed into my desire of a sweet confection. I am on track again…..

My days of need are still with me. I, at times, feel overwhelmed and without merit. Then I remember that I am good at what I do and I am worthy of being. So goes the battles …. mental and physical. I will win the War, but for today I look forward to conquering the doubts.

See ya next year!